transference occurrence

farmington skate usa.

The Walkmen

good morning

its been almost 2 years since i posted anything on this site. i'll have to figure out what this means for me now. back then it was something to keep me from losing my mind in new england. now i live in durango, colorado.

i can ride my bike if i want to. i listen to the music i like. i read a little here and there. i hang out with my girlfriend. we walk the dogs. i get my feelings hurt sometimes. sometimes she does too. we tell each other "i love you." we have drinks. i hang out with friends. we go for rides if we want to. we listen to the music we like. the only part that's tough out here is the money thing. everything else is pretty golden. people out here have to work shitty jobs and say, "thank you for my shitty job."

i have a dog now. miles jackson. he's very handsome and makes for a great friend. i hope the feeling is mutual. i get to see my 2 best buds alot. one lives here (chinatown, currently) and one in ridgway.



i get to talk to my niece every week. she tells me what is hers. i miss her so much. i look forward to her visiting me out here when she is older. i have a feeling she'll love it out here too.

i guess in a way this is a journal. of sorts. and a celebration of what makes life worth living, for me, right now. this is what always gets me. i have this strong compulsion to write but i never know why i'm writing. fiction seems the logical choice but this stuff i do is almost always first person....

i just ran 42 circles around the house trying to figure out what i wanted to do next.

all my good friends have failing relationships. my girlfriend broke up with me this week. we got back together the next day. i broke up with her last night. we're back together again. i'm really trying not to take myself too seriously. i just watched the fountain for the third time. cried my eyes out again.

all i really want is to spend several hours a day on my road bike. i drink a lot of coffee and even more tea. i download music from soulseek. i don't pay because its not possible. i drink different things at night. gin and tonics if i'm home, beer if i'm out with a friend. pastis or absinthe if its a writing night.

i keep telling myself over and over that i just want to write what i would want to read. the closest i've ever come to reading what i would want to read, so far, is eileen myles. well, maybe mark sundeen. yeah. guess its a tie. and neither one has much out.... brian said i'd like michelle tea if i liked eileen, i don't know.

mom's coming out soon. it just turned daylight savings time. its 7:10pm now and still light outside.