not so much.

just saw pan's labyrinth in harvard square. okay visually but i can do without the repeated bludgeoning. and the girl being the only one privy to the gore-enriched fantasy underworld- was it her imagination's creation? whose souped-up 12-year old imagination are we talking about here? honestly not too impressed with it. some of the sets were so dark i just started to feel like they were afraid of detail in the production. even a dreary, lonely, new england night has more feeling, depth and color than pan's world. i'd like to invite guillermo on a tour of the enchanted forest in the basement of goldsmith's in 1982 downtown memphis. sorry. pretty uninterested in everything though. no revelations here.
cambridge, you are dead to me.

Overnight Showers Likely Lo 41°F

Saturday Showers Hi 49°F

Saturday Night Chance Rain/Snow Lo 34°F

Sunday Rain/Snow Likely Hi 40°F

Sunday Night Rain Lo 34°F

M.L.King Day Rain/Sleet Hi 36°F

listening to neko case's canadian amp tonight. chinky version of neil young's dreamin man. watched the entire 3rd season of l-word over the past 4 or 5 days. plasticality, but fun and oh so addictive. although they try and cover a broad (?) cross-section of lesbian americana (albeit in plasticality central, ca), i don't think there's one girl on there i'd wanna take an extended camping trip with. where are the bull dykes we all know and love? where are the bad juke boxes and back-woods rebas? where are the psychos with overly ambitious self-esteems and the pathological liars with eating disorders? yeah, t.v. world is nice. speaking of relationships, woody allen hits the nail on the head with this little gem.

don't burn the fires

dead moon retired.



Running away, i knew i was wrong
I tried to fit in where i didn't belong
Wearing their clothes, playing their games
Being a part of that urban decay
Don't burn the fires, i'm never coming home

When the morning sky was cold and grey
I could hear the whispers of my own mistakes
Those warning eyes, that final touch
No one seemed to care that much
So don't burn the fires, i'm never coming home

And when i'd reached my destination
I thought someday i might return
Cause deep inside was the need
To feel the home fires burn
But a faltering voice merely whispered
My name as if we'd never expected to
Hear it again, and my heart grew
Cold to that indifferent sound
As i slowly laid the receiver down

-dm

1-800-LETS ALL NOT DO COCAINE

hey massachusetts, lets be so miserable and wretchedly uncomfortable in our own skin that we only feel okay when we deconstruct everything to the point that there is no longer any soul or essence left in anything we touch, ok?
6 months left to go here. got a nice surprise from bailey showing up in town. of course, its supposed to rain the couple free days i have that we could ride.















really wish i had a copy of andy earle's patio tapes. 1-800-for the love of god, can we all not do coke? its been years since i've heard it. been too long. seems shelby was involved.
lately i feel the urge to do anything physical just to feel alive- snapping my wrists all night with rubber bands, tightening my stomach muscles while i pace the floor (its tricky like the pat-your-head/rub-your-belly thing), wearing as little as possible so i can be cold.
looking forward to ass-long trips through the high desert, red rock and mountains on bike with chico. weminuche camping trips... my new sleeping bag is bored here. chris m used to do pulls on the van window while transporting crap between stores. anything to keep moving. speaking of, i think i've acquired restless-leg syndrome. its been a couple weeks since it bothered me while trying to sleep but my legs were getting so jerky that i couldn't lay still long enough to fall asleep. it would go on for 2-4 hours most nights. maybe i'm just so tired now from being up late at a night job that it doesn't effect me....

4730 Hillmont

went by the old house in nutbush/berclair on christmas eve. a tradition i usually carry out with melissa but she has a family now and was with in-laws for more holiday celebration. stopped at a gas station to buy a couple sweets for mom's stocking and splurged $6 on powerball and scratch tickets. its christmas. this gas station sits directly atop the land i used to run through till i turned 13 and mom's new husband moved us to a nicer area of town. (begin nonconnah creek/ softshell turtle years).

it wasnt hard to figure things out back then, when i still knew the exact line between my world and the insanity of others. right where that gas station now sits, i could feel the presence of a box turtle a couple seconds before i walked up on it. daddy taught me this way. he grew up in these woods too. the wolf river bottoms. he took me fishing down here. during the years he was driving 18-wheelers he kept a couple bamboo poles inside the bushes in the backyard. nylon line wrapped tight around the length of hollow yellow.

our old house had the best lights on the block this christmas eve. the parked ski boat at the middle turnout/cove was gone.

southern sloth

morning in the delta.
i just woke up in a new subdivision on an old soybean field in a sand/clay-layered section of the kudzu south. hardwood deciduous bottom lands. nothing new to this story. mom moved 15 miles further east away from the city and has a new car for weekly ventures to the clothing stores and the grocery. the cops are always watching out here, trying to keep it safe for money to move out this way, almost an hour from the crumbling 3rd-world city these sprawling suburbs create. crime is up in the delta.

this is my favorite time of year in the south. the mosquitoes and wasps are gone, moccasins and copperheads asleep. walking through the woods is alot easier; the underbrush is all dead. the colors are gorgeous. tufts of dead grass highlight the golds, browns, greys of the sky and earth. exactly how las pampas will look if i walk south for 6 months past 100 degrees of latitude.

the loosahatchie river runs toward town about 5 miles north of here. saw a new subdivision on the wolf river's floodplain yesterday while driving to my grandmother's house. lawsuits will fly within a year or 2 when they start getting flooded out. somebody's getting paid big bucks to give the ok on these permits. and the corp of engineers probably wont update their floodplain maps for another 20 years....

cross

might go to providence this weekend for cyclocross nationals. puke-fest. i would never do a cross race but it is fun to watch...probably shouldn't say never but come on. mud, cold, jumping on/off bike, running with bike? knees can no longer take that kind of impact anyway.

went to nationals. fun enough. pics came out kinda fuzzy...











i like this one of georgia gould.



























chad representin d-go.

babies,

duggar family aint got shit on me. can you say SINGLE-PARENT-HOME BEEEOOOOOTCH

nettie moore

lordy lord. i think i'd probably be locked up right now if it weren't for the gym. as boring as it can be, i have access to 4 within walking distance from the house. most near harvard square. havn't gotten too into the swimming though. that used to be a daily thing for me, just dont seem fun no more... lot of time on the bike, trying to strengthen right knee with some light weights. i took katt williams' advice and listened to lil jon while on the bike. fun. got some new pearlizumi knee warmers. i look like a right idiot walking around the house in cut-off jeans and those stickin out. dressed 4 success.

if i gained nothing else from my time spent in new england, at least i met john malkovich. and he thinks this is an awful town too. driving to graceland in a week. gran has me committed to 2 days of cooking at her house. she's gonna put 5 pounds on me over the holiday. bringing back 2 iron skillets, skateboard, waders. hope to catch up with some old buds. its the last time i'll see that town, prolly till next xmas. can't say i'm too depressed about that....

if i were drivin down solo i'd stop in wv and see if i could talk sue haywood into hangin out for a drink. lookin forward to checkin out the offroad to athens dvd. yummy

honduras

looking down on copan, honduras






















freddy







































near the town of tela

ellen willis, 1941-2006

SUPERSENSITIVE: in the habit of hearing insult and bigotry where none is intended; Jews are traditionally the worst offenders, being inclined to take constructive criticism like "Pale-faced Jew-boy, I wish you were dead" as evidence of anti-Semitism.
-ellen willis

holy chro-moly!!

had a date a few nights ago. the first since last summer. thought i'd make an effort, put myself out there... i'm really not a good sport. or maybe i just don't like the sport of dating. i'm not a recreation-oriented person. i don't want a good-time buddy. i want a real partner. i want someone to read to me. draw me corny pictures. save newspaper articles for me to read. buy me an eclair or a bavarian cream. a best friend. i want a copy of myself!!! yes its narcissistic. at least i'll own it.

so after being in this town since july, i actually asked someone out. i got lured into the excitement of a real date. hung out twice, then immediately got sideclocked in an email!! well i tried.

i saw the fountain last night at the theater. if a movie can save your life, this is the one. after getting dumped by someone i had never even kissed, i was feeling a bit fragile. i got teary a couple times on the drive over, the early night was coming on fast. i knew i needed to hit the seat and get distracted before i lost the ability to walk through a crowd without tears streaming down my paling new england face.

hugh jackman couldn't have been a better pick. well, maybe i should say nobody could have played this role better. and no computer imagery to enhance the visuals. all organic. so glad i caught this one on the big screen.

colurango

can't wait to get back to my
chinatown campspot. las animas!!
seven months...












met up with kage at the b-side in somerville last night.
excellent time. a little weary of her psych degree
"why do you think that is?" questions...













"the longest train i ever saw went down that georgia line. the engine passed at six o'clock and the cab passed by at nine."

monkey off my back

and it feels good. fresh start.
xmas xmas xmas
yummy walks, seeing all the lights.

2nite will be fun. anticipation is killing me...

oh, beautiful new england.

mount chocorua.

i was actually pleasantly surprised at how nice it was.












arrived too late to make it all the way up the 1st day. stayed just off the trail, hadn't seen stars that bright since being out west. blinking and winking through the trees at me. dark at 4:30...












talked to a couple old friends recently. since i've been here, i've had nothing to offer - like i'm just on hold.

i feel bad about talking to people from my past because i don't know what to say. all i can do is ask questions. there's really nothing to tell.... there is nobody in my life that i'm close to, i have no overwhelming or exciting experiences. i know, snap out of it....

nice line from built to spill's latest: "when things are all you think of, and plans are all you make, and thoughts are all you dream of, and falls are all you take - look out the world's destroying you. relax it isn't fair. mother nature's disposition, she don't mind, she don't care."

new fun!!!!

msr miniworks water filter
marmot 'never winter' 30 degree down bag
or snowline mitts
sierra designs portable attic for sirius tent
msr 4l dromlite bag

the water filter is super-easy to use & maintain. no tools required. i was relieved to get to the end of the instruction manual in only 6 tiny pages! it works really fast too. screwed it onto a nalgene, had it full in less than a minute. tested the new bag 2 nights ago when the low was 31. maybe if i hadn't been on a second-story porch it would have been nicer but my face was really cold all night. the rest of me was warm inside the bag but i came back inside at 2am. i'd say the bag was perfect. weighs under 2 lbs, compresses to probably half the size of my winter bag and is gonna be a good friend in the desert....
this weekend i'm going up to the whites. the ringer. probably solo unless j wants to go too. won't be taking the new bag! hopefully i'll get snowed on. yesiree.


"Too bad they don’t know that the struggle of the twenty-first century started here, a tiny creek in Death Valley." - erik gauger on pupfish in death valley